Arousal non-concordance
Trigger Warning: Sexual assault/abuse
Sometimes our bodies can betray us, sometimes we respond to sexual stimuli, even if it is unwanted or disgusting. This can be confusing and can be falsely interpreted as evidence that sexual contact is welcomed or desired. Sexual non-concordance describes the experience of a person having a physiological sexual response to sexually relevant stimulus despite lacking desire or interest in a particular sexual behavior. How does this happen?
Human beings are wired through our central nervous systems to respond to stimuli, sometimes involuntarily, via our nerve endings as they connect to various tissues and organs throughout the body. An example of this phenomenon would be when you inadvertently touch a hot surface. Your hand may have already retracted from this hot object before your brain has fully registered that you have been burned. You didn’t have to consider this and then make a conscious decision to remove your hand. The human body is equipped to respond in ways that are hard wired into our anatomy.
Unfortunately, this wiring can result in a person having an orgasm or becoming physically aroused due to the body experiencing sexual stimuli that elicits a sexual response. This mechanism of our anatomy does not equate consent! Nor does it mean that a person secretly enjoyed it. This can be particularly confusing for many people who have experienced sexual abuse. Sexual responsiveness can be further complicated if the experience of sexual stimulation occurs in situations that a person may not have otherwise sought to encounter.
Research into the physiological measures of arousal concordance in response to sexual stimuli, as measured by genital responses such as blood flow and strength of pulsation, demonstrate that sexual responsiveness is not always correlated with sexual desire. Researchers also found there were significant differences between the arousal concordance of men and women. Men were found to be approximately 50% concordant in reported arousal and physiological responses and that women were much less so, with approximately 10-20% corresponding sexual response and sexual desire.
Mostly importantly, it lends empirical understanding that only enthusiastic consent is an indicator of sexual desire and if there is any doubt, just ask!
References
Adler, A., (2022). https://medium.com/@adelina.m.adler/the-bodys-betrayal-103c581dcc16
Embracesexualwellness.com, (2020). https://www.embracesexualwellness.com/esw-blog/arousalnonconcordance#:~:text=Emily%20Nagoski%20speaks%20about%20arousal,they%20feel%20subjectively%20aroused%20by.
Nagoski, E. (2019). The Come as You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex. Simon and Schuster.
Nagoski, E. https://enagoski.medium.com/unwanted-arousal-it-happens-29679a156b92
Suschinsky, Kelly & Lalumière, Martin. (2012). Is Sexual Concordance Related to Awareness of Physiological States?. Archives of sexual behavior. 41. 199-208. 10.1007/s10508-012-9931-9.
Psychpd.com.au, (2023). https://psychpd.com.au/arousal-non-concordance-and-involuntary-sexual-response/